States' (Road) Rites

rite /rīt/ noun- a social custom, practice, or conventional act.

Our family moved from New York to Illinois almost 25 years ago. Every year since, we have driven back East to visit relatives and friends. In the early years, with three young children, the 2000 mile plus trip in the minivan involved finding fast food restaurants with play places, hotels with indoor pools and rest stops with child-friendly play areas. Now the trip, though still being made in a minivan, usually consists of only my husband and myself. We stop for the night without a thought about finding the once-mandatory swimming pool. Without children, the dining is slightly more exotic, the trip slightly faster and much quieter, and the driving, overall, well, uneventfully boring...

I just returned from a drive back East and realized that one of the things I enjoy about the recent quieter and leisurely trips is I get to contemplate the “State” part of the “United States of America”. I know – we are only traveling across one third of the the eastern half of the country – six states at most - and only the northern part at that. But there is still a sense of that individuality that each state clings to, that identity that makes Ohio Ohio and New York New York. About 150 years ago this country fought a horrific war over states' rights. The Union – the “United” part of the “United States of America” was preserved, but that longing for individual state identity still comes out, sometimes in the most amusing and inscrutable ways. These little differences from state to state reflect not so much “rights” as “rites” - regional differences in speech patterns (“New Yawk”), food (Can't get a decent bagel outside of metropolitan New York City; New York pizza and Chicago-style deep dish barely resemble one another.), etc. But during this past trip, I was struck by the state identities reflected in just the areas that are car- and driving-related.

Speed limits have always varied from state to state. Illinois, Indiana and Ohio have the same speed limits on the interstate while Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey share a lower limit (in theory, though not in practice). Pennsylvania used to feel obligated to inform the incoming drivers, by way of a large threatening sign at the state line, as to how much it would cost them for every five miles over the speed limit they were going should drivers get caught speeding. In recent years, they seem to have just given up. Illinois and Indiana are more attached to their toll transponders than some states (I-PASS, i-Zoom), while Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York cut any pretense and just acknowledge they are sucking the money out of your bank account as painlessly as possible (E-ZPASS). Ohio has the most beautiful interstate rest areas (Panera, Starbucks). Indiana does not (McDonalds, random other). In Pennsylvania, I-80 is not a toll road, so there are only restroom areas on the highway, and you take your chances on food at any exit.

One of the most baffling state differences is in the pumping of gas. Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania allow drivers to pump their own gas, set an automatic shut off device, and come back to the tank when it's full. New Jersey does not allow drivers to pump their own gas. (Why not? Too dangerous?) An attendant comes out and pumps it for them. In New York drivers can pump their own gas, but are required to hold the pump handle the entire time – no automatic shut offs. (To avoid “Oops! I only have ten dollars and accidentally pumped $15...”?) There is a section of I-84 that goes from Pennsylvania, through a small section of New Jersey, and then into New York. Depending on which exit drivers choose to get off at during a few short miles, they can find any one of these three gas pumping options.

I can not leave this topic of state road identities without commenting on the wonderfully terrifying New York State Parkway System. Originally built in the mid-twentieth century as scenic roads for cars to move around the metropolitan New York area, they are unique to New York State. Growing up and learning to drive on Long Island, I was taught that the shortest distance between two points was always a parkway. These roads are often three lane highways with no commercial traffic – just cars – with a posted speed limit of 55 which is generally ignored by all. They are heavily treed, with beautiful stone overpasses and bridges, making for a scenic drive through one of the most heavily populated areas of this country. I personally believe these parkways are also responsible for the reputation New Yorkers have of being crazy and aggressive drivers. These are roads that allow drivers to get around the congested New York City area, at high speeds, with nary a semi or anything bigger than an SUV to put the fear of God into them. In such a driving culture, it is easy to think oneself as a invincible road warrior, someone beyond the usual road courtesies. It is perhaps why there are now lighted signs over these parkways every few miles that remind drivers it is a New York State law to signal when changing lanes. Seriously? What is assumed to be basic driving practice in any other state needs to be on multiple lighted signs in New York? I thought back to how friends in high school joked about how when you drive on the parkway, you get the impression that turn signals were optional equipment on cars, and apparently no one was purchasing that option on Long Island anymore. Yeah, those signs are necessary. As a driver on a New York parkway with Illinois plates on my car, I have a right to know what that car passing me at 75 mph is going to do next. But I also remember that I, too, was once a child of the New York parkway culture and had my own unique ways of navigating the Island, so I cut those crazy drivers some slack. After all, it's their rite.

...The Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor. I thought then of the narrative order here in the Book-World, our resolved plot lines and the observance of natural justice we took for granted.

“Literature is claimed to be a mirror of the world,” I said, “but the Outlanders are fooling themselves. The Book-World is as orderly as people in the Real-World hope their own world to be – it isn't a mirror, it's an aspiration.”

“Humans,” said Sprockett, “are the most glorious bizarre creatures.”

“Yes,” I said with a smile. “They certainly are.”

               - the “read” Thursday Next, One of Our Thursdays is Missing, Jasper Fforde