Light Lenten Reflections

Week 7A

Want to Obey

(Want   →  Obey

I want what I want. It's part of my human makeup, my fallen nature, my American rugged individualism or whatever I might want to call it.

Some of us are very good at voicing what we want. Look at any three year old – "I want..., I want..., I want...!" As we get older we may lose our demanding tone, even our audible voice, but the inner us still has no trouble articulating what we want. I have a pretty good idea about what I think is fair, what I think I deserve, what I don't think I deserve, how I think life should look going forward for me.

In this time of pandemic craziness, when most of what we are familiar with is turned upside down, we still want what we want, though many of our wants have changed surprisingly. Who would have thought as recently as two months ago I would be wanting shelves not empty of toilet paper and disinfecting wipes when I go grocery shopping? Wanting to sit face to face with someone and not just talk to them on a screen? Wanting to go to the post office or pharmacy and not have to think of where my hands are every minute?

We are often faced with this tension of wanting what we want and realizing we might not get it. Jesus faced it in a big way the night before he died. He knew what was most likely going to happen to him the next day. According to Matthew, Mark and Luke's accounts in the gospels, Jesus, as was his habit, went off to pray in a place he had gone to before, a place called Gethsemane. John's account calls it a garden. It was a good place to pray, usually, and Jesus asks his disciples to stay awake and be praying, too. He then goes off a short distance from them and prays a very human yet perfect prayer:

Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will. - Mark 14:36

He know what he wants – let's skip this crucifixion thing – but he acknowledges he also wants what God, his Abba/Father wants – let's redeem mankind and put right everything that went wrong in that other Garden so long ago.

Of all Jesus' prayers, I find this one the most encouraging. Jesus, the perfect Son of God, is free before his Father to express what it is he wants. He is not afraid to tell his Father he is afraid and would be fine if this crucifixion thing could go away. But Jesus, the obedient Son of God, is also willing to say he accepts his Father's will over his own. And he's comfortable enough in his Father's presence to pray this not once, not twice, but three times. If the perfect Son of God can repeatedly acknowledge his wants and feelings, even anxiety and perhaps doubts before his Father, how can I not feel free to do the same? Jesus' ultimate obedience is also an encouragement to me as I pray, knowing full well that God's ways are not my ways and that which I really want and boldly pray for may not be what my Father wants for me. He has something better. It may not feel that way at the time, but Jesus's prayer at Gethsemane models an attitude of trust in the Father and His purposes. I may only see the cross from where I stand now, but I'm assured there is resurrection and new life ahead.

Something to Ponder:

How strong are your wants? How willing is your desire to obey God? What are some of the things you feel you really want and need at this moment in your life?

Something to Pray:

Grab a Bible or biblegateway.com. Read Matthew 26:36-46. Note Jesus' prayer and persistence. Ask God to allow you to experience the freedom Jesus had to put his wants before the Father. Ask for Jesus' obedience as well. Pray through any of the wants you listed above and model your prayer after Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane.

As Adam lost the heritage of union with God in a garden, so now Our Blessed Lord ushered in its restoration in a garden. Eden and Gethsemane were the two gardens around which revolved the fate of humanity. In Eden, Adam sinned; in Gethsemane, Christ took humanity's sin upon Himself. In Eden, Adam hid himself from God; in Gethsemane, Christ interceded with His Father; in Eden, God sought out Adam in his sin of rebellion; in Gethsemane, the New Adam sought out the Father and His submission and resignation. In Eden, a sword was drawn to prevent entrance into the garden and thus immortalizing of evil; in Gethsemane, the sword would be sheathed.

― Fulton J. Sheen, Life of Christ