Light Lenten Reflections

Week 7

Hard Prayer

The best parenting advice I've ever received wasn't the easiest to wrap my mind around. A women I knew from church had heard a speaker at a workshop who imparted these words of wisdom. My friend passed it on to our small group. I may not have the words remembered exactly, but the message and intent was: You have to want what God wants for your children more than what you want for your children.

A simple, concise piece of advice, but I have picked it apart over the years to find out why I find this so difficult to fully embrace. God wants specific things for my children, good things, I assume. I want specific things for my children, good things, I hope. These specific things, God's and mine, may not be the same things. How does a parent figure out what God's specific things are when they differ from the parent's?

For each of my children there has been at least one life moment when I was pretty certain I could see what was best for that child, only to find that the child and God had something different in mind. Guess who was right? These times called for talking to God in a way that could only be described as hard prayer. Why hard? Because a big part of this type of prayer requires laying down my pride and personal wisdom and acknowledging before God that maybe He is right and I'm not, that He's God and I'm not. It's talking to Him in a way that says this is what I think needs to be done, should happen, must be the right decision, BUT, maybe I don't know everything, and if You have something else in mind that's better, because You see so much more about this situation than I do, then, O.K., we'll do it Your way. Like I said – hard prayer.

Hard prayer takes place in other areas of our lives besides child-rearing. We all face situations where we see God working for our ultimate good and the good of the lives of people around us, and we are, frankly, just not happy about. Why? Usually because things are happening not how we thought or expected they would happen and it's time to lay down our pride and personal wisdom again and to acknowledge that we, in fact, are not God. Fortunately for us, Jesus modeled hard prayer, and Matthew's gospel leaves us with a perfect blueprint of how to do it well. Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane. He knows he is about to die. He knows that the great plan of salvation is about to unfold and it is going to cost him his life. And still, he is real and honest before his Father in heaven.

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. - Matthew 26:39-44

If Jesus, who is fully man as well as fully God, can be so open in talking with His heavenly Father about his feelings about what the Father is doing, we should be confident that we can too. It’s O.K. to say “Father, I really don’t like that this is happening in my life right now. It's not what I wanted or expected. I think it stinks and I wish you would take it away. I know everything is possible for you, but I also know that you may have purposes here that I can’t see. Help me to want what you want more than what I want.”

Something to think about: Hard prayer is a close cousin to the real, honest prayer from Week 3. Review your honesty level with God. Are there situations in your life where things are not going the way you want them to and you suspect God has something else in mind? Do you feel comfortable coming before Him with these situations? In general, how attached are you to your expectations? Do you have the ability to let them go when necessary? Read Matthew 26:36-46 and meditate on how Jesus came to the Father in hard prayer.

Something to talk (to God) about: Ask God to give you the freedom to come to Him in all situations, but especially those hard ones that leave you confused and wondering about His plans for you. Ask for the desire to want what He wants for you more than what you want for you. Ask Him to bring to mind the times He has turned your plans or expectations upside down for your good. Thank Him for them.

 

Light Lenten Reflections

Week 6

Peeling Away the Music

“Mom? Do I sing good?” My younger self had been dancing around the house, singing loudly. I had sung solo in school for a second-grade music “test” about this time, and my teacher, Sister Joan Bernadette,* having briefly put her head down on her desk by the end of my performance, came up tiredly smiling, shook her head and declared music “tests” finished for the day. I had been puzzled at her reaction, and it led to the question I asked my mother. Mom, not an unkind person, but someone who held honesty in high regard, replied, “When it comes to singing, you draw beautifully.” The somewhat cryptic critiques of Mom and my second-grade teacher were further fleshed out in high school. We had to give a series of concerts in our mandatory tenth-grade music class, and as a practice would near a final performance, the nun in charge would declare certain singers were throwing the rest of the singers off key. Not wanting to embarrass anyone, she devised a system where she would walk among us during the final practice and discreetly tap certain singers on the elbow. If we got the tap, it meant that we were to silently mouth the words to the song during the concert performance. I always got the tap. It didn't bother me as much as it should have. By then, I had indeed proved I could draw beautifully, and I resigned myself to the fact that I would never be musical.

It was not long after this that God got hold of me, and I started to take my relationship with Him seriously. One of the first prayer groups I was involved with was made up of people similar to me in musical ability. The most musical among us owned a guitar, knew three cords and had been playing for a few weeks. This person was declared worship leader. We started our group with the few songs our guitarist was brave enough to attempt, and we sang as though we didn't sound terrible, which we did, and that God would love us anyway, which, of course, He did. We then moved on to worship God in other ways, meditating on scripture verses, ejaculatory praise, and times of intense silent adoration when the Holy Spirit's presence was so real I could believe if I reached out my hand into the silence I would touch Him. I have always thought it was God's mercy on me that He put me in that group early in my relationship with Him. I learned in those early days that if you peeled the music away from what is generally considered to be worship, you are still left with...Worship.

The simple dictionary definition of worship says it's the reverence and adoration for a deity, a.k.a. God. The early occurrences of the word worship in the Bible make no mention of music. Maybe biblical worship had singing or chanting or maybe “just” the reverence and adoration part. John's gospel states that God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth. Again, no mention of music. But worship is often so closely associated with music that we forget that it is something that can stand alone apart from it. When we attend a church's Worship Night, we expect musical worship. When we structure church services, we say whether worship comes before the sermon or after or both, but what we are really noting is where the musical and singing parts of the service will be. But worship, true worship, is an intimate form of talking to God, revering and adoring Him for who He is. It can take place in many contexts and forms, but it is that intimate connection with God that makes it true worship.

Worship can sometimes be hard to wrap our minds about. It's not like asking God for something, though answered prayers often bring us into worship. It's not quite being thankful, but thanksgiving is often a quick track to worship. It's not seeing a breathtaking sunset or marveling at a star-studded dark night sky, but those are surefire ways to make me want to adore and revere the One who is responsible for both orchestrating them and giving me the ability and opportunity to see them. Sometimes it can be a quiet time, more like sitting and keeping God company than actively talking to Him. And, yes, for many people, music can be a big part of how we worship God. For me, it's the lyrics of the song rather than the music itself that draws me into God's presence. If the music is loud enough I may be brave enough to venture to sing along, though I really need to hear a melody 30 times before my brain can sing the song, but adoring, revering, praising lyrics will bring me into a place of worship every time. It's why praying the psalms can be a powerful act of worship. David, writer of many of the psalms, was a musician and most likely had music entwined with his psalms, originally composing them as songs. We've lost the original melody, but the lyrics remain intact, and many of the psalms can be entry ways into God's presence when we worshipfully pray or meditate on them.

Anne Lamott has written a short book on three essential prayers. She entitled it Help, Thanks, Wow**. We tend to be good at asking God for what we need and most of us are good at thanking Him for what He has given us. But are we taking the time to praise and give Him glory for just being Who He is? Are we allowing ourselves the time and space to look around us and be amazed at His overarching presence in this world, in our lives? It is good to remember that God delights in our worship, our “Wow!” moments, with or without the music peeled away.

Something to think about: How much of your interaction with God is worship, the adoring, revering kind? Do you tend more toward asking and thanking when you talk to God? These are both good things, but if worshiping God for who He is rather than what He will do/has done for you is only a small part of your time with God, think about what things can draw you into worship more often.

Something to talk (to God) about: In your sit-down prayer time or in your NEAT prayer time this week be aware of opportunities to worship. Ask God to teach you or make you more mindful of how to come before Him in an attitude of adoration and reverence, how to see His amazing presence in your life. Ask Him for more opportunities to say “Wow!” to Him.

*Yep. The same Sister Joan Bernadette from Week 1 - “Prayer is just talking to God.” She had to put up with a lot.

**Just a warning: It's a book written for people who don't normally pray or who might not even believe in God.

 

Light Lenten Reflections

Week 5

NEAT Prayer

In the expansive world of fitness and exercise, there was an acronym that made a buzz awhile back. NEAT (for “Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis, if you must know) refers to the energy expended for everything we do that is not sleeping, eating or planned sports-like exercise. For example, twenty minutes rushing around Walmart trying to find where they keep the matches and birthday candles thirty minutes before a birthday party is NEAT activity. Twenty minutes jogging is not. One hour chasing after a toddler is NEAT activity. A one hour Jazzercise class is not. Six hours shopping for a homecoming dress with a very particular adolescent is NEAT activity. A six hour bicycle race is not. Yes, go for a run, take the class, enter a race, but look to increase the amount of NEAT movement in the course of one's daily routines rather than solely relying on set-aside times of focused exercise.

Some people are naturally better at getting NEAT activity than others. The Amish, who probably are unaware of the acronym, are the reigning champions of the NEAT world. As they go about their daily work and lifestyle routines, Amish men walk, on average, 18,000 steps per day, and Amish women, 14,000 daily steps, all without the benefit of exercise classes or sports teams. These are pretty impressive numbers for those of us in a Fitbit-obsessed culture, where 5,000 steps a day is the minimum number for fitness pretense and 10,000 steps the desired daily goal.

In Week 2 of Light Lenten Reflections, when I talked about Nike prayer, the “just do it” kind, I made it sound like we needed to find a specific time and space for talking to God, not unlike the physical exercise sessions we may carve out of our day. And we do need that specific time and place, to sit down and let the rest of the world go on without us, and just spend some one-on-One time talking with the One who knows us better than we know ourselves. But there is something to be said for NEAT prayer - “Now/Everywhere-Everything/Always/Talking”* Prayer. This is the prayer, the talking to God, that is ongoing during the course of our day. Ongoing, that is, if we recognize the need as it appears and take the time to bring it before God. Such prayer happens in the moment, in the “Now”, acknowledging that God is concerned about our “Everythings” and “Everywheres” (“Always!”) and we do it in our natural way of “Talking” to Him. The prayer itself can often be brief and comes from an emotional place of the moment. “Help, Lord,” when overwhelmed with a task at work or when in the middle of a strained conversation going downhill rapidly. “Thanks, Lord,” for that perfect parking spot that miraculously appeared when running late for an appointment. “Wow, Lord,” **upon seeing a beautiful sunset or hearing a warbler sing. Seeing a person in physical or emotional need can trigger an immediate intercessory moment, as can a highway accident or a television news story. Each of our days are filled with opportunities to encourage talking time with God apart from whatever sit-down time we make make for Him.

NEAT prayer, however, like NEAT exercise, can take some work and an adjustment of mindset, and there are those of us who are better at it than others. I confess that my reaction to prayer opportunities that arise in the course of the day is often “I'll pray about that, really talk to God about it thoroughly, when I sit down for my next quiet time.” And I may do that, but I would have missed interacting with God about that situation in the moment. The character of Father Tim in Jan Karon's Mitford stories models this type of ongoing prayer in the moment as he encounters people and situations in his community that need God's presence and intervention. He's a fictional character so it's easy for him, but Brother Lawrence was a real person and, similar to the Amish and their impressive step counts, is probably the reigning champion of NEAT prayer. A lay brother in a French Carmelite order during the 1600s, Brother Lawrence was recognized by his peers and superiors within the monastery as a person who exhibited the character of someone consistently walking with God. His abbott encouraged him to share the nature of his daily ongoing dialogue with God, and the resulting collection of writings, Practicing the Presence of God, is a spiritual classic. A more modern champion of NEAT prayer is Frank Laubach, a twentieth century American missionary who challenged others to attempt to “pray constantly” as encouraged in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. In his pamphlet “The Game with Minutes” he describes how he tried to keep God in mind in some way for at least one second of every minute of the day. Like Brother Lawrence, Laubach expressed the delight of a life spent consistently walking and talking with God throughout the day.

Trying to imitate Brother Lawrence or Frank Laubach can seem intimidating, and we may be a long way from talking to God in every minute of our day. Attempts at such prayerful intimacy is not for the faint-hearted, but it's an idea(l?) worth contemplating. If I sincerely believe that (wo)man was originally created to walk with God in a Garden, I must believe that God is particularly delighted with us when we talk with Him throughout our day, acknowledging His active presence in our daily walk whether asking for His intervention or just praising Him as we interact with His world around us. I think that's neat and I suspect God does too.

Something to think about: Examine your daily talking to God pattern. How much ongoing NEAT prayer is in your day? Do you save all your serious prayer for your quiet time? How often do you converse with God in the moment?

Something to talk (to God) about: Make a concerted effort to have more NEAT prayer in your day. Ask God to make you more aware of Him in the potential moments for praise and intercession. Going for a walk? Find three things in God's creation to thank and praise Him for. Watching the news? Ask God which situation you can bring to Him in prayer in that moment. Stop in the midst of a task just to say “Hey, Lord”.

There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful, than that of a continual conversation with God; those only can comprehend it who practice and experience it. ― Brother Lawrence

*Yeah, I had to work a bit to come up with that one.

**Credit to Anne Lamott whose book on three essential prayers is entitled Help, Thanks, Wow.