Light Lenten Reflections

Week 7

Hard Prayer

The best parenting advice I've ever received wasn't the easiest to wrap my mind around. A women I knew from church had heard a speaker at a workshop who imparted these words of wisdom. My friend passed it on to our small group. I may not have the words remembered exactly, but the message and intent was: You have to want what God wants for your children more than what you want for your children.

A simple, concise piece of advice, but I have picked it apart over the years to find out why I find this so difficult to fully embrace. God wants specific things for my children, good things, I assume. I want specific things for my children, good things, I hope. These specific things, God's and mine, may not be the same things. How does a parent figure out what God's specific things are when they differ from the parent's?

For each of my children there has been at least one life moment when I was pretty certain I could see what was best for that child, only to find that the child and God had something different in mind. Guess who was right? These times called for talking to God in a way that could only be described as hard prayer. Why hard? Because a big part of this type of prayer requires laying down my pride and personal wisdom and acknowledging before God that maybe He is right and I'm not, that He's God and I'm not. It's talking to Him in a way that says this is what I think needs to be done, should happen, must be the right decision, BUT, maybe I don't know everything, and if You have something else in mind that's better, because You see so much more about this situation than I do, then, O.K., we'll do it Your way. Like I said – hard prayer.

Hard prayer takes place in other areas of our lives besides child-rearing. We all face situations where we see God working for our ultimate good and the good of the lives of people around us, and we are, frankly, just not happy about. Why? Usually because things are happening not how we thought or expected they would happen and it's time to lay down our pride and personal wisdom again and to acknowledge that we, in fact, are not God. Fortunately for us, Jesus modeled hard prayer, and Matthew's gospel leaves us with a perfect blueprint of how to do it well. Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane. He knows he is about to die. He knows that the great plan of salvation is about to unfold and it is going to cost him his life. And still, he is real and honest before his Father in heaven.

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. - Matthew 26:39-44

If Jesus, who is fully man as well as fully God, can be so open in talking with His heavenly Father about his feelings about what the Father is doing, we should be confident that we can too. It’s O.K. to say “Father, I really don’t like that this is happening in my life right now. It's not what I wanted or expected. I think it stinks and I wish you would take it away. I know everything is possible for you, but I also know that you may have purposes here that I can’t see. Help me to want what you want more than what I want.”

Something to think about: Hard prayer is a close cousin to the real, honest prayer from Week 3. Review your honesty level with God. Are there situations in your life where things are not going the way you want them to and you suspect God has something else in mind? Do you feel comfortable coming before Him with these situations? In general, how attached are you to your expectations? Do you have the ability to let them go when necessary? Read Matthew 26:36-46 and meditate on how Jesus came to the Father in hard prayer.

Something to talk (to God) about: Ask God to give you the freedom to come to Him in all situations, but especially those hard ones that leave you confused and wondering about His plans for you. Ask for the desire to want what He wants for you more than what you want for you. Ask Him to bring to mind the times He has turned your plans or expectations upside down for your good. Thank Him for them.