Not So Light Lenten Reflections

Week 3

Pet Trusts

Pet trusts...we all have 'em, even if we are not aware of them. They can be helpful in our growing in trusting God, but they can also potentially trip us up in that journey. No, they have nothing to do with our confidence in leaving meat to marinate on the counter with the canine family member lurking in the kitchen. But they are not unlike our pet dogs' easy and trusting reliance on us for their immediate needs and general well-being. Our pet trusts involve those areas of our lives where trusting God is not a struggle, or, at least, not a painful one. Because of how we are made, how we have grown up, our family patterns, structure, and experiences, there are certain areas in which we find it easy – or at least, easier – to trust God. We may have many of these pet trusts, or a few, but they can all be helpful in growing our trust in other areas.

Despite my atypical family upbringing, I never lacked for anything. We could be considered poor by some metrics, but we never felt poor. Mom was good with money as were my grandparents. We had a home with a mortgage that got paid in a timely manner. We always had enough food. There were toys and fun outings. We went to Catholic schools, and the tuition money always seemed to be there. As a result, as an adult, I never worried about money or financial matters in general. A pet trust...

I found out I was at risk for a certain cancer when I was in my early twenties. I had screenings and checkups for years until I did, in fact, develop that cancer, in my mid thirties, after having been told I was past the age when I was most likely to get it. Since then, CTs, MRIs, and blood tests have always been a cause for concern. Yes, scanxiety is a thing. By the time primary cancer #4 surfaced, I had little trust that scans and tests would ever be routine or normal. They had often proved to be a harbinger of another medical crisis. There were, in fact, normal scans and tests over the years, but they always took me by surprise, being a cause for anticipatory anxiety despite any eventual good result. I just had difficulty mustering any trust that the results would be normal. Not a pet trust...

We all have different experiences that form our ability to trust. We also have different experiences that lead to huge holes where trust should be but isn't. Some people might make the case that pet trusts – those easy places where we assume the best will eventually appear – isn't real trust at all. If it's easy, is it truly trust? Shouldn't we feel some spiritual effort as we lean into God at all times, in all areas of our lives, the easy places as well as the hard? If we look at our pet trust as OUR trust, something we have accomplished, achieved on our own, then, yes, it can be a potential problem. We can fall into a certain kind of pride that we, not God, are responsible for our trusting confidence in any particular area. But if we acknowledge God's part in bringing about the circumstances of our pet trust, then it can be a helpful tool in developing trust in other areas where trust does not come easy, in those places where we find huge holes devoid of trust.

As long as I didn't see my family's financial provision as something we were solely responsible for, that it was, in fact, a gift from God, then that pet trust would have the potential to encourage me to trust in areas where trust did not come easy. Yes, God encouraged godly character traits in me and my family that taught us to be good with money as well as showing us that He never left us unprovided for, but I think I always knew that my financial security had more to do with God than keeping track of my income and expenditures. I should come away with the belief that if God could be trusted in areas of financial provision, then He could be trusted as well in the area of ______. (Fill in the blank, Mary!) But easier said than done...

There are other pet trusts I've been blessed with – I can easily trust God for healthy church choices, wonderful friends, good experiences for my kids, wonderful neighborhood and housing situations – all of which have encouraged me to trust God in the tougher places. Like foot holds on climbing walls and rungs on monkey bars, pet trusts give me something to cling to and help me maneuver over those scary placed in between. I still struggle with trusting God in areas involving medical issues. My husband's diagnosis provided new opportunities to grow in trust for me as well as for him. Over all the years of my various medical journeys, one area where I have been growing in trust has been that God would provide excellent medical care. Since my first diagnosis, God has led me to amazing doctors, often in down right miraculous ways. Time and again, without much anxiety or intensive research, I have fallen into the hands of some of the best medical doctors and medical staff imaginable. In the past year of my husband's journey, again, God has led us on a direct and relatively easy path to great medical care. Yeah, I still get scanxiety for myself and my husband's labs and MRIs, but I am amazed at the ease with which I can now trust God to provide the necessary medical intervention for whatever lies ahead. A new pet trust in the making?

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.  
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.  
What can flesh do to me?   - Psalm 56:3,4 ESV