Not So Light Lenten Reflections
Week 6
The Rungs of Trust
So, how do we grow in trust? How did I grow in trust? This week, I thought I'd leave the door of my prayer closet ajar and allow a glimpse of a spiritual practice that has helped me over the past few years to better understand and grasp what true trust in God is in my life. In my post on pet trusts, I likened those trusts to foot holds on climbing walls and rungs on monkey bars, giving me something to cling to to help me maneuver over those scary places as I was learning to trust. But the true foot holds and rungs of trust are the ones God provides in His Book. I've come to see the Bible as an owner's manual for being human and the best notebook for this human to bring along on her trust journey.
I am of the age where memorization no longer comes easy, if at all. I decided a few years back that I would not sweat it if I could not memorize scripture like I used to. I still try to commit some verses to memory, but I'm more likely now to spend my time taking deep dives into the words of scripture, soaking myself and immersing myself into passages by slowly reading and rereading and meditating on the words, consulting with the Author frequently, a sort of personalized Lectio Divina.* For my trust adventure, I used an online concordance to make a list of trust scriptures and then printed them into a document that I kept in my Bible to use during my prayer times. Below are some of those scriptures and some of my musings during my time delving into them.
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Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
Oh, Lord, what are my “chariots” and “horses” and the things I rely on instead of you? Chariots and horses seem like “strong” things but not necessarily bad things. What are the strong things in my life that I trust in instead of you? And what does it mean to trust in Your name? Is it different than trusting in You? When I call on you by name – Lord, Father, Adonai – does that count as trust in Your eyes?
Psalm 56:3,4
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?
Ah, I can really get into these verses! I'm afraid about lots of things and struggle with all those other “fear not” scriptures, because I do fear. But this one says “When I am afraid...” acknowledging that, yes, it does happen. At those times, can I put my trust in You? If I say this enough times to myself, will I come to believe it, Lord? I think I will. Can I say, “In You I trust – I shall not be afraid”? Maybe. That flesh part, though...flesh seems to be able to do a lot to me, especially as I grow older. A lot of my fears are "flesh" related. Can I trust You with my aging body, Lord?
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
One of the first scriptures I ever memorized, yet I think it's taken me years to even begin to grasp the depths of it. I think I trusted in You with a portion of my heart, but never all of it. Or, more likely, I resigned, submitted, complied and acquiesced with all my heart, just never quite truly trusted. And leaning on my own understanding seems to be a default setting with me. I need to repeat to myself daily, “I will trust in you, Lord, with all my heart and I will not lean on my own understanding” with emphasis on those underlined words...
Psalm 125:1
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
I want to be like Mount Zion – strong, stable, unmovable in the good sense, abiding forever in You. I want that kind of trust.
Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
“Perfect peace” is a hard thing to wrap my mind around. I'd settle for a healthy dose of imperfect peace, but You promise me perfect peace if my mind is stayed on You. “Stayed on You”...I have to learn what that fully means. Am I thinking of You all the time? Am I willing to let You into every minute of my daily life, even when I'm not actively thinking of You? Lord, teach me what it means to truly have my mind stayed on you, because somehow, that is the key to fully trusting in You.
Psalm 37:3-5
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Hmmm...There seems to be something transactional about these verses. Is that OK, Lord, or am I reading something into this that isn't really there? If I trust in You and do good and delight in You, You will give me the desires of my heart. But I guess if I do those three things, my heart will be more like Your heart than mine, and those desires would be Your desires for me, so I guess that it OK. And what is the connection between committing and trusting in You? Is committing my way to You the same as trusting? Maybe. And do I believe – really believe – that You will act on my behalf with Your righteousness and justice? That's a great promise...
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Well, I'll leave it at that. You get the idea. Below are some more trust scriptures to make some rungs of your own if you feel so inclined.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 31:14
But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.
Psalm 62:8
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us
Psalm 71:5
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.
Psalm 91:2
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Psalm 143:8
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Isaiah 12:2
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.
Isaiah 30:15
For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling,
Isaiah 32:17
And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.
Jeremiah 17:7
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
Jeremiah 39:18
For I will surely save you, and you shall not fall by the sword, but you shall have your life as a prize of war, because you have put your trust in me, declares the Lord.’”
Daniel 6:23
Then the king was exceedingly glad, and commanded that Daniel be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no kind of harm was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.
*Lectio Divina is an ancient practice of meditating on passages of scripture by repeated readings and interacting with God during those readings. My meditations on the above scriptures is more of a Lectio Divina Lite, rather than a true Lectio Divina. That said, there are lots of variations on how to “do” it. Look them up online. Below is the outline I use. I choose a short passage of scripture, four to six verses, though I think shorter is better. I then go through the following steps as I read the passage. Each reading can be done silently or aloud but each should be done slowly:
Preparation (Silencio) – Relax, become aware of God's presence. "Come, Lord Jesus." "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."
Reading 1: Read (Lectio) – Read silently or aloud. Listen for the word or the phrase addressed to you, catches your attention. Repeat word or phrase.
Reading 2: Reflect (Meditatio) – How is my life touched by this word? What is it in my life right now that needs to hear this word? (Where am I in this scene/what words addressed specifically to me/what connects with my life experience?)
Reading 3: Respond (Oratio) – What is my response to God based on what I have read and encountered? Enter into personal dialogue with God. Share feelings in complete honesty. How might God be wanting me to respond?
Reading 4: Rest (Contemplatio) – Rest in the Word of God. Waiting and resting in God's presence, total yieldedness and abandon, like a weaned child with its mother (Psalm 131:2)
Resolve (Incarnatio) – Incarnate (live out) the Word of God. Resolve to carry this word and live it out in daily life. Choose image or picture as a reminder.
Acceptance of God’s will does not mean submission or resignation to “whatever will be will be.” Rather, we actively wait for the Spirit to move and prompt, and then discern what we are to do next. When we see ourselves in a relationship of love with God, there is always something of a lover’s dilemma, a struggle to give and receive, to trust and obey the call. - Henri Nouwen
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