Be a Georgia Gnome

“Georgia gnome” is my favorite mondegreen.

Even if you don't know what the word “mondegreen” means , you are probably familiar with them. They will sometimes appear in our conversations and produce momentary confusion or amusement. They are everywhere in popular music. Dave Barry has an entire chapter devoted to them in Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs.

Mondegreen is the mishearing of a word or words in such a way that the interpretation of the new words change the original meaning of the conversation or lyrics of a song. American writer Sylvia Wright made up the term in 1954. She was remembering a poem her mother used to recite to her, one line being:

They hae slain the Earl O' Moray,

And laid him on the green.

She heard instead:

They hae slain the Earl O' Moray,

And Lady Mondegreen.

Sylvia called this mishearing a “mondegreen”.

Creedance Clearwater Revival's “Bad Moon Rising” contains a classic mondegreen in the title line:

There's a bad moon on the rise.

It has been heard, however, by generations of CCR fans as:

There's a bathroom on the right.

Bob Dylan's “Tangled Up in Blue” has a line that sounds like:

We split up on the docks that night.

The lyrics, as written, are actually:

We split up on a dark sad night.

And there is the classic Jimi Hendrix line:

'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

heard as:

'scuse me while I kiss this guy.

This last example has given its name to a website that has archived over 1,300 lyric mondegreens.

My husband, in a desire to expose our youngest daughter to the richness of classic rock music, gave her a Buffalo Springfield CD to listen to. She liked it. She especially liked Stephen Stills' rendition of “Rock and Roll Woman”. She commented, however, that if she was hearing it correctly, it contained one of the stupidest lyrics ever written. One verse sounds like this:

There's a woman that you ought to know

And she's coming, singing soft and low

Singing rock and roll, she's a Georgia gnome.

When Stephen Stills sings that last line, that's exactly how it sounds:

...she's a Georgia gnome.

Of course, the actual lyric is:

...she's a joy to know.

We were all amused at her mishearing of that line. I started telling our daughter that she was a “Georgia gnome”. I even went so far as to make her a birthday card one year telling her so. I found an image of a Georgia gnome. (Yes, there is actually a company in Georgia that sells a garden gnome with the “G” of the University of Georgia emblazoned on its front.) I put the image on the front of the card and on the inside wrote “You are a Georgia gnome.” She was amused.

Our lives are full of mishearings and misunderstandings. Some lead to confrontation and tragedy, but many can be truly amusing. Of course, we are called to rehear and seek out the true meaning of what is being said, especially in our conversations. But sometimes, the mishearing is a lot more fun, even if we are the ones being misheard. With the right attitude, we can maintain our sense of humor and be a Georgia gnome...

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and to laugh at them in our turn?

- Mr. Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

(In the Garden #7 – Conclusion)

Rebel Square Foot Gardener

Time for me to confess - I've been a square foot gardener for almost thirty years - and I don't always obey all the principles of square foot gardening...

I was quite obedient with the garden in my first house - nine 4' x 4' blocks, neatly framed with 2” x 4”s, set about two feet away from each other in three rows of three - classic square foot gardening. I also had eight hours of sun over the entire yard and no rabbits or deer to contend with.

The next house had nine oak trees and a small patch of yard that got about five to six hours of sun at most. And deer...and rabbits... In this smaller area, I made three 4' x 8' frames, parallel to each other about 18” apart. I also had one 8' frame that was only 18” wide, dedicated to tomatoes, again, 18” away from the other frames. This smaller set-up allowed me to make the best used of the smaller sun area, and also keeps plants closer together to fence in animal-vulnerable crops such as lettuce and spinach.

Present U-shaped garden, with fence panels, planted with lettuce, spinach and peas.

In my present house, I have a U-shaped square foot garden, outlined in brick. It is the equivalent of seven 4' x 4' blocks, but all conjoined to one another. It gets lots of sun, but also a steady stream of deer and rabbits that use it as a salad bar.  The compactness of the blocks makes it easy to set up my fence panels and move them around as I change from cool to warm weather crops.

The herb garden, with oregano, chives, sage, tarragon and thyme, with room for the basil and parsley seedlings that are still in the cold frame.

This yard also has a dedicated three-tiered herb garden frame, 4' x 4' for the bottom block, with two smaller blocks each set at angles to the lower one. Not square foot at all, but very good for growing both perennial and annual herbs.

My final rebellious act of square foot gardening is how I grow peas. Rather than grow tall (4 foot) peas along an end trellis or support, I choose shorter (2-3 foot) varieties. Since I have to protect them from the deer and rabbits anyway, I sow the seeds in a fenced 4' x 4' square, quite thickly. As they come up, they grow together, support each other, and shade each others' roots (good for a cool weather vegetable). When it comes time to harvest, I just reach into the fenced area and pick the peas as needed. I can easily reach them, but the rabbits can't. (Sometimes the deer eat the top-most ones...)

**********

I hope I've encouraged some of you think about putting in a garden this year. Maybe I've encouraged you to think about it for next year. Don't be afraid to be a bit rebellious. If you only have a 2' x 8' area of ground in a sunny place, then plant it that way. The two most important rules of square foot gardening, in my opinion, are 1) make your garden small enough to reach in so that you never, ever, have to step on your soil once it is prepared, and 2) follow the plant spacing recommended for most plants, i. e., don't be afraid of planting things closer together than you think they should be. You'll be amazed at how much you can grow in a well-prepared, small garden. Now, go plant something!

The internet is full of articles and advice on square foot gardening. There are handicapped versions and patio versions of square foot garden plans as well. Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew is the classic text on the subject. You can also get ideas on his website at www.squarefootgardening.org.

Tomorrow is another day only up to a point. - Annie Dillard

 (In the Garden #6)

Everyday Maintenance of Your Square Foot Garden

If you have actually (or even, theoretically) planted your square foot garden, it is now time to look at the day to day maintenance of it. This is where you can really see the advantages of the square foot method of gardening. An added bonus of square foot gardening is that it is really easy to grow organic. Weeds, bugs and nutrients can easily be managed in non-toxic ways.

Weeding: If you've located the garden near an access to your house where you pass the garden frequently, weeding just happens. If you limit yourself to five minutes of weeding every time you pass your garden, you will find that you have a neat and weed-free garden most of the time. If you have planted several 4' x 4' garden blocks, you may have to spend a little more time pulling weeds, but still, weeding by hand is very manageable and shouldn't take much time at all.

Watering: Watering is easy with a square foot garden. You can water your plants individually with a bucket of water and a cup, pouring water directly on the root system of each plant. (If you collect rainwater in a barrel, you can use it for watering your garden.) If you have multiple garden blocks, you can easily water your crops with a garden hose, again directing the water to the roots. It is best to water deeply, in the morning or in the early evening. Frequent watering (daily) is necessary when your plants first go into the ground, when seeds are coming up, and in hot, dry weather. After that, you can condition your plants to make do with deep, thorough watering every two or three days.

Bugs: You will find that you can control most bug problems without toxic chemicals since your square foot garden is small enough to observe and deal with insect problems before they can do much damage. Tomato horn worms can be looked for, removed by hand, and disposed of without insecticides. You can make up a batch of garlic and red pepper solution, strained, put it in a spray bottle and spray it to deter broccoli worms or almost any other garden pest. (Just remember to reapply after watering or heavy rain!)

Fertilizer and Mulch: You can easily apply any liquid organic fertilizer to your crops, or dig in small amounts of manure and compost around your plants to feed them organically. Once the larger plants, such as tomatoes and peppers, are established, you can use compost or other organic mulch to put around the base of the plants to feed them and conserve moisture.

Optional Garden Structures: There are optional structures you may want or need for your 4' X 4' garden block. You might want to build a fence or trellis on one end of your garden block to grow vining tomatoes, pole bean, peas, or cucumbers. You might be plagued by rabbits and deer and want to enclose the square with some temporary fencing. You might want to try your hand at growing cool weather crops in the late fall. A mini-greenhouse constructed out of heavy clear plastic and light wire fencing can be popped over a garden block and you may be able to serve home-grown turnips, carrots, spinach and possibly even lettuce at your Thanksgiving dinner!

Rotating Your Crops: Successive planting in the square foot garden is how you get more produce in less space. Lettuce, a cool weather crop, will turn bitter when the hot days of summer start. Pull out what is left of your lettuce, add some compost to the square and replant with a warm weather crop such as Swiss chard or green beans. If you've grown peas, another cool weather crop, on a trellis, when the end of the peas comes in hot weather, put up the vines and plant cucumbers or pole beans on the same trellis. You should be able to have multiple crops in your 4' x 4' block if you remove spent crops and replace them with new, season-appropriate ones.

Tomorrow – Conclusion - Now that you know the rules to square foot gardening, let's break 'em! (Also, photos of my garden!)

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

- Doug Larson

(In the Garden #5)

Planting Seeds and Seedlings

The garden site is chosen. The soil is prepared. You have decided what you want to grow. Now the time has come to do the actual planting of your square foot garden. If you have bought some nursery seedlings, such as tomatoes or pepper plants, you can put them in the ground when all danger of frost has passed. Plant them on a cloudy day or in the early morning or evening to avoid having the roots of the seedlings exposed to the sun. Water each seedling thoroughly. The best way to water a new seedling is by hand, scooping out a cupful of water from a bucket and pouring it over the root area. You should be watering your new plantings at least once a day for the first week, more frequently if you notice an wilting on hot days.

For the crops that are being seeded directly into the ground, plant them square by square. If you want to plant one square foot of carrots, mark off your square, make shallow indentations with your finger, 16 to a square, put 2-4 seeds in each indentation, cover lightly with soil, gently tamp down the soil and water carefully. When the seeds sprout, and you can see two sets of leaves for each new plant, pinch away the smaller plants and leave a strong single plant to grow. In the case of the carrots square, you should have 16 carrots plants per square. Do the same for all your seed planting – plant 2-3 seeds per indentation, thinning to one strong plant once they have grown to have two sets of leaves.

Seed packets will give you information on how deep to plant a seed, and when to plant that particular vegetable. Ignore the information that tells you how far apart to plant the seeds. This is square foot gardening, and most seed packets only have information on planting space for traditional rowed gardens.

I've included in this article diagrams on the spacing of most vegetables you are likely to try in your square foot garden. Crops like zucchini, bush tomatoes and vertically grown squash have different spacing needs, so their spacing doesn't look as “square foot” as some of the other crops.

Tomorrow - Everyday Maintenance of Your Planted Square Foot Garden

To see things in the seed, that is genius. - Lao Tzu 

 

(In the Garden #4)

Choosing Your Crops

Once you have prepared your garden square, it time to decide what you are going to plant in it. I recommend planting only what you know you will use. Even if everyone on the block is growing tomatoes, don't plant them if your family refuses to eat them. Prefer your veggies clean and in plastic from the produce department? Then fill your garden squares with different kinds of herbs and flowers.

It is a great gardening irony that home-grown lettuce and tomatoes do not share the same season. Lettuce is a cool weather crop and is usually done by the time tomatoes, a warm weather crop, are starting to ripen. Most vegetables fall into those two categories. Cool weather crops are best planted in the early spring and done by late June or planted in late August and harvested in the fall. Warm weather crops are not planted until after all danger of frost is past (late May/early June in the midwest).

Below are some suggestions and notes about good starter vegetables.

Tomatoes: (Warm weather crop) You can start your own plants from seed indoors eight weeks before planting outside, but I suggest buying tomato plants at a nursery if you are a beginning gardener. There are many varieties of tomatoes, but only two plant types. One is the determinate, or bush tomato, that only grows to a pre-determined height, branches out, and takes a bit more space horizontally. You can only grow four of these in a 4' x 4' garden. The second type, the indeterminate or vining tomato, grows well in a 1' square if grown upward on a stake or trellis. You can plant four of these tomatoes along the end squares of your garden and train them up an end support, pinching out the side shoots to encourage upward growth.

Pepper: (Warm weather crop) Another plant best purchased in a nursery. Plant 1 plant per square foot.

Green beans: (Warm weather crop) Two types of these as well: bush beans and pole beans. You can plant these seeds directly in the garden – 9 plants per square foot for bush beans, 8 plants per square foot for pole beans, which are grown on the end squares on end supports.

Leaf lettuce: (Cool weather crop) These can also be seeded directly in the ground, or you can purchase plants in a garden nursery. Plant 4 per square foot.

Spinach: (Cool weather crop) Seed directly in the ground only, 9 plants to a square foot.

Peas: (Cool weather crop) Plant seeds directly in the garden, 8 plants per square foot, grown on the end squares on end supports.

Swiss Chard: (Warm weather crop) Like spinach, sow directly in the ground only, but plant 4 per square foot.

Cucumbers: (Warm weather crop) Plant seeds or bought plants, 2 plants per square foot, but grow on end squares on end supports.

Onions: (Warm weather crop) Plant bought sets 16 per square foot. Green onions, also known as scallions or bunching onions can be sown by seed quite thickly with about 30 plants per square foot.

Carrots: (Cool or warm weather crop) Plant seed directly in the ground only, 16 plants per square foot. Soil needs to be very soft and loose to grow carrots, and short carrot types are best.

Radishes: (Prefers cool weather) Plant seed directly in the ground only, 16 plants per square foot.

Beets: (Prefers cool weather) Plant seed directly in the ground only, 16 plants per square foot.

Turnips: (Prefers cool weather) Plant seed directly in the ground only, 9 plants per square foot.

Tomorrow - Planting seeds and seedlings in the ground.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

- Lewis Grizzard

(In the Garden #3)

Preparing the Soil

Most vegetables need lots of sun. Choose an area of your yard where you are sure that the garden will get a least six hours of direct sunlight a day. Also, the closer the garden is to the kitchen door, or other frequently used access to the house, the easier it is to keep an eye on the garden.

Once you choose the location for the garden, measure off a 4' x 4' square (or a 3' x 6' rectangle, if you are short-armed). At this point you need to decide how much you want to invest in the actual structure of the garden block. Digging up a 4' x 4' section of lawn, removing the grass, and cultivating the soil below is the most inexpensive way to make a garden. However, if you have heavy clay soil or you would like your garden to look a little neater, consider making or buying a raised bed garden frame. This would be a simple 4' x 4' frame made out of 2” x 6” or 8” cedar boards, depending how deep a box you want. If you choose to make a raised bed frame, you don't even have to dig up your soil. Just spread about six layers of newspaper over the grass where you want your garden and water the area well. The newspapers will kill the grass and then rot by the time your garden plants have sent down roots. Put the raised bed frame over the wet newspapers, and fill the frame with bags of purchased topsoil, peat moss and mushroom compost. Some well-rotted manure can be added if you like. Mix the soil until it is uniform in texture. If you are using your own garden soil, it might be a good idea to dig some mushroom compost, peat moss, and or a small amount of manure into the soil to improve its texture and add nutrients.

Decide if you have a good sense of measurement, of what a 1' square looks like. Some people build 1' grids over their square foot garden to help them plant. Others use string to break it down into squares. I will sometimes draw lines in the soil just before I plant so I can “see” my squares. Use whatever works for you.

Square foot gardening also makes use of the garden space above your garden as well as the space on the ground. You can put a small fence or other support system on one end of the square to grow pole beans, peas, cucumbers, vining squash or indeterminate tomatoes.

Tomorrow – Choosing your first crop

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

(In the Garden #2...)

Basics of Square Foot Gardening

Square foot gardening is a method of gardening that gets you thinking about planting things in squares rather than the more traditional rows. It is easy to weed, easy to water, and once the soil is prepared, easy to keep going.

The original square foot method starts with a 4' x 4' block, broken down into 16, 1' squares. Each square can grow a designated number of a particular crop, for example:

1 tomato plant

1 pepper plant

4 lettuce plants

9 spinach plants

9 bush beans

16 carrots

16 radishes

The size of the garden square is based on the premise that once the garden soil is prepared, it will never be stepped on and packed down again. A 4' square can be reached into from any side since most of us have about a 2' arm length. But if you feel you are short-armed, make your garden a 3' x 6' or 3' x 3' rectangle instead!

The small size also makes the garden easy to protect. It has always been a challenge for me to keep the rabbits and deer out of the garden. I've invented a series of 4' panels with plastic fencing that I can easily use and remove to protect my squares. It is also easy to make mini-greenhouses out of plastic sheeting and wire if you want to try your hand at growing lettuce or spinach into November.

Tomorrow – Preparing the soil

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. - Marcus Tullius Cicero