Light
Lenten Reflections
Week
2
Godzilla
in the Garden
(and
How to Whine About It...)
Vegetable
gardening in a yard on a pond has its challenges. In addition to the
usual suspects that wreck havoc during the growing season – deer,
rabbits, raccoons, the occasional neighborhood dog – I have to
contend with marauding geese and turtles of unusual size.* I've
learned what vegetables need fencing to keep out deer and what
fencing needs reinforcement to prevent rabbits and raccoons from
chewing through to the lettuce and chard. And so, it was with no
little consternation I watched a large family of geese march out of
the pond and head toward my garden where they mowed down a large
section of the new grass I had seeded several weeks before on the
path between my vegetable beds. Dad Goose, Mom Goose and a dozen or
more grass-eating preadolescent offspring! Really??!!
Later,
the same season, I planted my usual two hills of zucchini, dirt
mounds of freshly dug soil each with four seeds, later to be thinned
to two plants on each hill. No critter had ever bothered these
unfenced squash, so I was mystified as well as annoyed when I looked
out a few days later to see the zucchini hills gone, completely
flattened. I went outside in time to see a gigantic snapping turtle
slowly making her way back to the pond. Images from the first
Godzilla movie came to mind. This behemoth had risen out of the pond
like it was Tokyo Bay, had stomped on the Tokyo that was my zucchini
crop, and was now returning to the water. A Godzilla-like snapping
turtle had just destroyed part of my garden! SERIOUSLY???!!!
It
was only a vegetable garden, and I could replant the zucchini. But
what about the spiritual Godzillas who wreck our walk with God in the
garden of our lives? Adam and Eve had a Godzilla in the first garden
in the form of a serpent. That beast seriously wrecked the garden
for them, putting questions in their minds ultimately leading them to
disobey God and eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of
good and evil. That action ruined the easy walk with God they had
been taking for granted and cost them the garden. And how did they
respond when God called them out on their disobedience? Adam: The
woman gave me the fruit. Eve: The serpent lied to me. Blamers,
both.
I
confronted my own spiritual Godzilla in recent years in the form of
physical adversity. First, a diagnosis, dire, but fixable. Just cut
out the offending body part and spend the rest of my life taking a
synthetic medication to replace the natural version the offending
body part was in charge of making, and then, excellent prognosis.
Really, God? Now? I've got plans, things that need doing. What are
You thinking? A second diagnosis followed closely on the heels of
the first. Unrelated, equally dire, but also fixable. Just pump my
body full of noxious chemicals for six months, then surgically
rearrange parts of it. Again, excellent prognosis, except the new
normal doesn't seem very normal. Really, God? REALLY????!!!!! I've
already had my quota of bodily woe. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???
Somewhere
in the midst of Godzilla stomping around on my body and on my lovely
spiritual garden life, a friend of my husband's gave me a book,
Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller.
A dense book on the subject of suffering, the first two thirds of it
look at the subject from every cultural and theological point of
view. The last third is practical application, i.e., what to do when
Godzilla strikes. Keller takes an in-depth look at Job, the biblical
model of undeserved suffering who had every area of his life stomped
on by adversity. He loses his children, his servants, his livestock
and livelihood, eventually his bodily health. As one can imagine,
Job doesn't always express his feelings in a spiritually noble way.
His life is in shambles, and his friends trying to make sense of it
all with him just make matters worse. But Job consistently looks to
God, and unlike Adam and Eve, Job does not hide from Him, and God is
very affirming of Job in the end. Keller comments on God's
vindication of Job:
But
why would God be so affirming of Job? Job cursed the day he was
born, challenged God's wisdom, cried out and complained bitterly,
expressed deep doubts. It didn't seem that Job was a paragon of
steady faith throughout. Why would God vindicate him like that?'
The first reason is that God is gracious and forgiving. But the
crucial thing to notice is this: Through it all, Job never stopped
praying. Yes, he complained, but he complained to God. He doubted,
but he doubted to God. He screamed and yelled, but he did it in
God's presence. No matter how much in agony he was, he continued to
address God. He kept seeking him. And in the end, God said Job
triumphed. How wonderful that our God sees the grief and anger and
questioning, and is still willing to say “you triumphed” - not
because it was all fine, not because Job's heart and motives were
always right, but because Job's doggedness in seeking the face and
presence of God meant that the suffering did not drive him away from
God but toward him. And that made all the difference. As John
Newton said, if we are not getting much out of going to God in
prayer, we will certainly get nothing out of staying away.
Ever
since Sr. Joan Bernadette told our second grade first communion class
prayer was talking to God, I've taken it literally. Sometimes I talk
nicely and sometimes I don't. Sometimes my talk is praise and
gratitude. Other times it's whining and complaining. I direct my
grumblings and anger toward God and count it as prayer. It was
comforting to be reminded from Keller's comments on Job that God
counts it as prayer also. Like Job, I can have my moments of
challenging God, bitter complaining and deep doubts. I can voice my
fears and frustrations to God and even question what in heaven's name
is God thinking when I can't see His purposes or reasons for some
inscrutable circumstance. The gracious and forgiving God who was so
affirming of Job is the same God who created me to walk with Him in a
garden. It's freeing to know I don't have to be on my best behavior
or have on my best attitude to walk with Him. I need only to keep my
eyes on Him and, like Job, do my complaining, doubting, screaming and
yelling to God and in His presence. When I get stomped on,
leveled by whatever circumstance, I can come to Him as is.
Godzilla-ravaged or not, God calls me to walk with Him just as I am.
Something
to Ponder:
Has
Godzilla stomped and leveled some part of your life or the life of
someone you love? How free do you feel to express the pain and
frustration of that to God? Do you hide from God until you feel
“good” again, or can you come to Him as is?
Something
to Pray:
Grab
a Bible or biblegateway.com and read Psalm 13. The psalmist goes
from boldly questioning God to trusting and praising Him. Ask God to
give you the freedom to do both, to honestly be able to flow from
questioning and doubt to trust and praise. If there is Godzilla
damage in your life, spend some time talking to Him about it. Ask
for the ability to be real in your relationship with Him.
God
sees us as we are, loves us as we are, and accepts us as we are. But
by His grace, He does not leave us as we are. - Timothy Keller
*Yes,
they exist!
After
Jesus' death on the cross, a disciple of Jesus claimed his body and
put it in a new tomb in a nearby garden.
Two
days later, Mary Magdalene comes to the tomb before sunrise and finds
the stone covering the entrance to the tomb has been rolled away.
She leaves and returns with two of the disciples. They see an empty
tomb, Jesus burial cloths, but no Jesus. Puzzled, they return home,
leaving Mary Magdalene weeping in the garden outside the tomb. She
then sees two angels who ask her why she is weeping. She is telling
them of her missing Lord when another figure also asks her why she is
weeping. She mistakes the newcomer for the the gardener, who is, of
course, Jesus. He then speaks her name and she joyfully recognizes
the risen Lord she only moments before assumed was dead and stolen.**
